Diet, anxiety and Panic Disorder.

Like many people who suffer from anxiety and Panic Disorder, my diet is usually the first thing to be affected by the condition. Nausea can often stop me from eating, and at other times hunger pangs mean that I consume vast quantities of junk food.

I've read many articles on the impact of diet on physical and mental health, though they usually focus on one thing (the latest 'superfood' fad, or expensive dietary supplement perhaps) or give suspect or conflicting advice. One article recommended that I limit the amount of carbohydrates in my diet to alleviate anxiety, and the next advocated the wonderful soothing effect that carbohydrates have on our bodies, and minds.

Unhappy with this, I set out to find some firm answers on how to change my diet to help me to deal with anxiety and Panic Disorder. After an initial consultation with a nutritionalist, I was truly surprised at how simple it appears to be. No 'superfoods', no expensive dietary supplements, not even a mention of cabbage soup!

It came as no surprise to learn that eliminating, or at the very least cutting back on caffeine and sugar would be an important step in my fight against Panic Disorder. At the same time, avoiding withdrawal symptoms is vitally important, so a cup of sweet black tea was recommended at times where I felt it was needed. The fact that tea contains many beneficial antioxidants was also pointed out to me here.

At least 5 portions of fruit and vegetables a day arms our bodies with the essential vitamins we need to remain healthy. Especially relevant to anxiety and Panic Disorder are foods rich in magnesium, potassium and B vitamins. Bananas, kiwi fruit and leafy green vegetables such as spinach were given as examples. The fibre can also help to alleviate digestive discomfort associated with anxiety. Occasionally a vitamin B and/or magnesium supplement may be beneficial.

Whole grains, pulses, nuts and seeds can also be beneficial, containing lots of B vitamins. A simple bowl of whole-grain cereal should suffice. If you're intolerant, or notice that eating whole-grains exacerbates your situation or digestive discomfort, you should obviously take steps to avoid them in your diet.

Although a glass of wine at the end of the day may seem like a healthy way to combat anxiety, alcohol dehydrates us, impedes sleep and can result in insomnia, adding to anxiety.

Also particularly relevant is the effect of wheat and potatoes on our bodies. These contain trace amounts of naturally occuring diazepam (valium) and the high carbohydrate content has a calming, sedative effect.

Numerous studies have also indicated a link between a diet rich in essential Omega-3 fatty acids and improved physical and mental health. Oily fish seems to be the best way to incorporate these into your diet, but as a vegetarian I will be sticking with my vegetarian omega-3 supplement, containing linseed/flaxseed oil.

I'll look forward to following this advice and hope to see some improvement in my general health as well as my anxiety and Panic Disorder, apparently quite soon.

Obviously, I am not a qualified nutritionalist and I'm sharing this advice with you as a fellow sufferer. Any radical changes in your diet should always be approved by a doctor.

Momentary relapse?

Well, today is Saturday. I had a very bad night again last night. I took my diazepam at 11pm, and was in bed by midnight.. very tired. I tossed and turned, read, played Super Mario 64, went back to bed. Nothing. At 3am I had to take another 5mg of diazepam. It should have knocked me sideways, I've never taken 10mg in a night before. I phased out at around 3:30, only to be up again at 4am. I had serious hunger pains, so hot milk, digestive biscuits and Paul McKenna's "sleep like a log" CD, and I went back to bed. I finally slept at 7am. I woke up at just gone 9, the post brought with it some rather bad financial news which has done nothing to help me, and now I'm sat here like a zombie waiting to feel tired enough to take a nap. It's mid afternoon, and my neighbours dogs don't seem to want to stop barking. I doubt it's going to happen any time soon.

That Friday Feeling

It's Friday, and I'm feeling good. I've slept for 8 - 10 hours every night this week, and feel that I'm finally catching up with some of that sleep-debt I've accumulated. It's so nice to fall asleep within the hour, rather than tossing and turning and taking at least 3 hours to sleep. I've had the energy to do some housework, start focusing on the business again (just ideas at this point, and finishing up some invoices) and I've visited family for the first time in a few weeks. I haven't been able to go out without being driven yet, but small steps and all that. I'm still feeling generally anxious, but that in itself is like a rest for me. I still seem to have one trigger for a full-blown panic attack, and that's going outside alone, and occasionally being left in the house on my own. My pulse starts racing, my breathing quickens, and I feel that I'm going to die. At least now it does pass, and I can tell myself that it's all a bit silly, but frightening nonetheless.

Today I visited my aunt and uncle, and somehow got roped into cutting their lawn. I managed it though!

I slept!

I actually slept last night, for almost 8 hours. I can't tell you how good that feels. I feel a little calmer, and can finally gather the strength to try to fight this thing properly. I'm still having panic attacks, but they're lasting a few minutes at a time and are generally much less severe than they have been in the past month. I'm actually going for a few hours at a time without thinking I'm going to die. After being house-bound for 3 weeks, I'm going to make the most of this feeling and venture into the real world (with an escort) for a few minutes, maybe an hour. I don't want to push it.

K.

Still waiting

I took my 2.5mg of Diazepam at 6pm.

It's now 9:30pm. I still can't sleep, or even settle. Thankfully my mum has begun cooking, so that I can eat my first decent meal in days.. if I'm still awake when it's finished. I've been a little apprehensive about sleeping in my own room. These days I have to have the door open, and my mobile phone at my side.. but it's still not cutting it for me. I just can't feel safe. As soon as I lie down I feel my pulse racing, the panic gets worse, and then I'm up for another few hours. I've tried everything, TV in the background, hypnosis CDs, lights on, lights off.. it doesn't seem to work.

I've been browsing youtube, google and wikipedia for inspiration on beating panic attacks. I've found some very good videos of people explaining what they've been through, and offering help and advice for people.. well, people like me. This one in particular stood out.

It begins again

Today was my third, or forth (I lose count) visit to my GP within the past month. The Sertraline (SSRI) that I had prescribed hasn't been agreeing with me. It seems to have made my anxiety and panic attacks worse than before. And that's not to mention the stomach cramps, the headaches, blurred vision and burning in my muscles.

The propranolol (a beta-blocker, prescribed to lower my heart rate) seems to be doing little to help, my pulse is still around 120bpm at rest. So after another night with less than 2 hours broken sleep, I dragged myself to the medical centre despite feeling that I was going to pass out, interspersed with the usual fears of death and danger.

The pills of the week this week are Diazepam (Valium) again, continued with the propranolol. I know Diazepam helps me in the short term, but it's not a long term solution by any means. That aside, for now I'm off to take my 2.5mg of Diazepam and try to rest before my 5mg dose tonight. I'm just too tired to continue this now.



K.

Welcome

If you've come here, you either already know a little about me, or you've randomly stumbled upon this dark corner of cyberspace and may be wondering who I am, and why I've decided to create this blog.

In short, I'm a 24 year old panic survivor. I've been suffering from Panic Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder for over ten years. My condition waxes and wanes, but it's debilitating nonetheless. Over the years, I've met numerous people who suffer exactly the same condition as myself, and we're all agreed on one thing. It helps to know you're not alone.

And that's why I'm here.

Blogging is also a wonderful form of therapy, and allows me to chart my own moods, and progress through my condition.

On learning of my condition, people often ask me what a panic attack is. Well, a panic attack is exactly what you'd think it is. A sudden, intense feeling of panic or terror, dread and impending doom. They last from a few seconds, to a few minutes. People with Panic Disorder however, may experience panic attacks that last for hours, and may come in waves. Many of us have them from time to time, in fact it would be unusual not to. Along with the psychological symptoms, there are also many, often frightening, physical symptoms associated with a panic attack.

These can often include:

• Chest pain
• Difficulty breathing
• Palpitations and rapid heart beat
• Dizziness
• Flushes or chills
• Nausea and vomiting
• Uncontrollable shaking

And in extreme circumstances, panic attacks can also cause fainting, blackouts and 'burn-out'.

The good news, however, is that as terrifying as they are, panic attacks can't kill you.

People with Panic Disorder are prone to repeated panic attacks, often much more severe than people who experience them infrequently. Though there may be a trigger, such as a stressful situation or phobia, people with Panic Disorder often experience terrifying panic attacks for no apparent reason. The psychological symptoms become more pronounced, with many people feeling 'depersonalised', that they're losing control, going crazy, and often become petrified of death and/or serious illness. This often leads to depression, which exacerbates the Panic Disorder, creating a vicious cycle.

Although a panic attack can't kill you, Panic Disorder impacts very negatively on the life of the sufferer, a fact that seems to be lost on many health care professionals. The condition can ruin careers, relationships, nothing is sacred. Every day activities can become frightening, or just unfeasable. Agoraphobia is very common in people with the condition, usually developing as people avoid venturing outside to avoid the triggers that may cause panic attacks, meaning that their quality of life is greatly reduced.

Fellow sufferers often ask me what type of panic attacks I have, what triggers them, and how I cope. My panic attacks come in waves, lasting anywhere between 10 minutes and several hours. During and attack, I am totally unable to focus on anything other than the thought that I am about to die. My pulse races, anywhere between 110bpm and 160bpm, and I'm unable to settle, often feeling nauseous or vomiting. Episodes are generally triggered by traumatic experiences or illness, exhaustion and occasionally being outside, or alone. When I'm going through a severe episode of Panic Disorder, my main trigger is going to bed. This is not uncommon, with many people telling me that they experience the same fear of losing control, that falling asleep may be in some way similar to dying, or that they fear they may not wake up. The result is usually chronic insomnia, which in no way helps the condition.

Over the past ten years, I've tried many ways to cope with panic attacks and anxiety. Meditation was recommended by my GP, but I was unable to sit still for longer than a few seconds. Hypnotherapy was successful in overcoming one episode, but expensive. By far the most successful treatment so far is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (or CBT.. duh!) which attempts to change the thought processes of a sufferer. Unfortunately, in my case this has to be coupled with medications such as SSRIs, benzodiazepines and beta-blockers to do any good. Many other people have overcome Panic Disorder through medication alone, although the talking therapies, such as counselling and CBT seem to work well universally.

Through this blog, I will chart my experiences, and hopefully, my progress through this condition. If this is in some way useful to anyone, then I shall consider it a bonus.

K.