Still waiting

I took my 2.5mg of Diazepam at 6pm.

It's now 9:30pm. I still can't sleep, or even settle. Thankfully my mum has begun cooking, so that I can eat my first decent meal in days.. if I'm still awake when it's finished. I've been a little apprehensive about sleeping in my own room. These days I have to have the door open, and my mobile phone at my side.. but it's still not cutting it for me. I just can't feel safe. As soon as I lie down I feel my pulse racing, the panic gets worse, and then I'm up for another few hours. I've tried everything, TV in the background, hypnosis CDs, lights on, lights off.. it doesn't seem to work.

I've been browsing youtube, google and wikipedia for inspiration on beating panic attacks. I've found some very good videos of people explaining what they've been through, and offering help and advice for people.. well, people like me. This one in particular stood out.